F-words. Forgiveness + Fun = Freedom

How often has a thought about someone’s bad behavior made you feel trapped in your own mind? Resentment + misery = prison. 

As Confucius said, “Wherever you go, there you are.” There is no escaping you. And while you can travel from place to place, your internal world will always be with you. Eventually, you will ask: how can I be free?

If you keep rehashing the past, wishing things could have been different, you’ll feel caged and powerless. We often think freedom is outside of us, like money or power. But freedom doesn’t arrive once you have this, that, or the other in place. 

Freedom is now. Today. In this moment. All around us. 

Yet, no one can grant you this...only you. Freedom is yours when you are willing to stop letting bitterness drain you. 

The Buddha once said, “Holding onto anger is like grasping a hot coal with the intent of throwing it at someone else; you are the one who gets burned.” 

Often we are mad at ourselves. We can’t stop hashing the situation out, over and over in our heads. And nine times out of ten the person who is putting you in a prison of angst, does not even see it the way you do. 

Forgiveness asks you this powerful question: “Am I willing to see this another way?” 

Johns Hopkins Hospital has done numerous studies on forgiveness and health. They found a massive physical burden is placed on the body when we are chronically upset. This causes changes in our heart rate, blood pressure, and the immune system. The stress will then increase our chances for depression, heart disease, and diabetes, among other problems. 

Forgiveness, however, calms stress levels, which leads to improved health. 

While our culture can often send us messages that forgiveness is a sign of weakness or submission, it takes REAL strength, it takes REAL courage, it takes REAL boldness to forgive when you feel jilted. 

This is when I must say to you loud and clear: stop giving everyone the power to destroy your health! Being good at suffering won’t get you any gold stars. 

Forgiveness is the most tremendous gift you can provide yourself. If you want to have more FUN, it is the key to your kingdom! But many of us have no idea how to go about making forgiveness stick. 

So here is a good place to start, ask yourself what you think forgiveness means….

• I’m giving someone a pass for wronging me.

• I’m being a doormat.
• Giving up my grudge might help the other person hurt me again.
• I have to pretend what happened wasn’t a big deal.
• My emotions about the situation were unjustified or that I’m not entitled to them.
• I have to force a false sense of peace on myself.  

Now you have a choice. Do you want to continue to believe that? Or would you like to be free? 

If you want freedom, and you’re willing to see this another way, circle the options below that make you feel unchained.  

Forgivness...

• Lets me better allocate my valuable time and energy. 
• Creates restful nights and productive days.
• Stops me from replaying past hurts.
• Makes me healthier and happier. 
• Means I have a right to feel what I feel and so do others.
• Is done for ME, not the other person.

Remember you get to choose if you want to free or not.  

In a famous interview, former president Bill Clinton talked to Nelson Mandela about how he had forgiven those who had unjustly deprived him of his freedom for so long. Mandela told him he “didn’t want to be in prison anymore.” 

And here is the best part, when you feel free….you are free to have FUN. And isn’t that what you want? Having fun is not a luxury, it is a necessity, it is a human right, it is a powerful healer.

It’s time to bury the hatchet and unleash happiness back into the world. Plan a road trip out west, see a concert, have a food fight, dance at the rooftop bar, play frisbee, learn a new water sport, watch a funny cat video, but most of all hang out with people that make you laugh out loud. 

Because when you forgive and start having some fun, freedom blooms within you. And when that happens. . . you show up with more energy, more solutions, and fewer problems. You do more in less time. You feel truly content. And suddenly, your life firing on all cylinders once again! 

Need help turning your burnout into badass health, freedom, and energy? Chat with us here movethinksmile.com/talk